In the past three weeks I have attended two weddings and another wedding reception. During this time, me being a single gal, I have got the question "so when will you be next?" more times then I can count. Surprisingly, this question does not bother me. I know people are trying to be friendly and come up with something to talk about. At a wedding it is on everyones minds of who is going to be the next one of a group of friends to get married, so its ok if they ask. What I found interesting was the response after saying "well I need to find a guy for that to happen." It seemed to open the door to the talk of what people think of marriage. During this time I found out something about myself that I didn't know. Apparently to many of my close friends I come off as anti-marriage. Anna was the first to say it. We were talking after our friend's wedding reception and I asked her if she could see herself being married anytime soon. She said she was closer to that idea then she thought she would be. I said I was surprised and she said "well I have never been as anti-marriage as you." I was shocked. I always thought she was more anti-marriage then me but I guess it does kind of make sense. So then at our friend Lyssa's weeding reception, there were 5 of us, who have all been friends since high school sitting together. Again the question of who was next came up. Out of the five of us two were married and three are single. My friend Jeri turns to my friend Emma and says "It will be a cold day in hell when you get married", turns to Anna and says the same thing, then turns to me and says " It will definitely be a cold day in hell when you get married." (Keep in mind we were all joking around so she wasn't being mean, nor was I offended.) I asked if they really saw me as that anti-marriage and both Mindy and Jeri said "oh yeah you are." Later in the night Anna and I were talking and Anna pointed out that she thinks I am worse than I was a few years ago. Now I find this all interesting because I never thought that I came off as being THAT anti-marriage that all my friends would point it out. Also, it is interesting because I always wondered if this was a reason that Tim and I didn't work out. A mutual friend once pointed out that he seemed eager to get married and that I never seemed like I really wanted to, so she wondered if that was a reason behind him not wanting to commit to a series relationship with me. He knew I wanted a relationship but the couple times he mentioned us getting married, I just made jokes about it. (Granted back then I was only 18 and didn't think marriage was something to seriously consider, but maybe he did.)

I wouldn't call myself anti-marriage but I also know that I am not going to get married until I am head over heals completely in love with someone who feels the same for me AND can show it. I just haven't found someone that I really feel that way about, yet. I also don't think that you need to be married to make a relationship work. I don't think that is the important part of a good relationship. But, that being said, I still want the big wedding with lots of friends and a great party, I mean reception (lol), afterwards. I like the idea of showing your commitment to each other in front of the people that really matter. I am just not the type to jump in right away into a relationship and definitely not the type to jump into a marriage. My parents pointed out that things don't seem to happen until you decide that it is something you want. My dad then said that getting married and having kids isn't something I have fully decided on wanting and that I have other goals in life that seem to come before that. That being said, they both think that eventually I will decide that is what I want and that I will meet some guy and get married quickly because I will just know. My mom is all for a Vegas wedding. 

I met a guy a couple weeks ago at a wedding and we seemed to have some chemistry. Without going into too many details, I will just say that he is a great guy but things won't work out with us, but we will continue to be friends. But, the fact that I found someone that I had some chemistry with after a very long time of not being real interested in anyone was kind of interesting. I feel like I could breathe a sigh of relief that I still could connect with someone. What I have learned from this experience is that I think I am ready to join the world of dating again as soon as I find someone I am interested in, that is interested in me, and there are no complications. This could take a while. lol

Out of curiosity, anyone have thoughts on whether or not I am anti-marriage, or what you think of marriage in general?